Wankered John's Taxonomy of Capitalism

Look guys, when I say "Taxonomy" I'm not talking about stuffing dead animals.

There's an idea floating round the Media Construct right now that drug cartels represent the system of capitalism in its purest form.

A clever guy has introduced this idea in a book. And it's doing very well. So capitalism is working for him at least.

I just wanted to toss my penny's worth into the pot:

Capitalism isn't a system, dude - it's just a bunch of people who've lost their sense of humour:

A PUNTER – who pays for something to happen

A CHIEF – who demands that something happen

A FIXER – who creates the conditions under which something can happen

AN ANALYST – who describes how something might happen

A BLAGGER – who promises that something will happen at some point if only they are given the right amount of cash

A MINION - who actually makes something happen

An ARTIST - who tells the truth about what does happen

A COMEDIAN - who tells the truth about what does happen by describing what might happen

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The list goes on.  Where do you fit in?  Where do I fit in, man?

I'd like to pretend I'm a Minion. But I'm not going to lie to myself.

I'd say then I was a cross between an Analyst and a Blagger, but that would make me a politician - so throw that idea in a muddy ditch and call it roadkill.

I'll have to settle for being a Nobody.

I'm outside the System.

You can't taxonomize my species, dude.  Let's face it, you can't even tax me.